Hi, I’m Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA, Esq. If you don’t know me already, I’m a Chartered FinMeme Analyst (CFA) with a particular expertise in #stonk valuation (pro-tip: just multiply by two). Anyways, I’ve been told that I have a particularly special insight into the world of finance and memes, so the team at Bullish asked me to create a regular round-up to help explain what the hell happened this week… and then offer my “diagnosis” of the virality.
This week was another eventful one, with all of us eagerly waiting for the stock market to open after the long Easter weekend. It did not disappoint, with the Dow Jones and S&P 500 hitting fresh all-time-highs as strong economic data boosted investor sentiment.
This hasn’t been a rosy time for everyone, though, with the fallout from the Archegos Capital blow up hitting banks like Credit Suisse, which is set to lose $4.7 billion from the debacle. And finally, to make the week even more bizarre, Professor Galloway, aka Professor Cold Takes, decided to follow in Chamath’s footsteps and posted a thirst trap for the world to see.
Once again, big stuff is going down, but what does it all MEME? Without further ado, let’s dive into Dr. Parik’s Meme Diagnosis of the Week…
Summary: This past holiday weekend was particularly difficult for those of us (all of us) who are addicted to the stock market. Seeing the market close on Friday was a real blow to those of us who use stocks as a personality trait. Instead of spending hours staring at charts, we had to spend that time with real people, including family (!). Monday couldn’t come soon enough.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Despite the frustration, our patience was rewarded. And thanks to some strong economic data and muted activity from the 10-year yield, both the S&P 500 and Dow Jones closed at record levels. To use an old adage, “He who is patient will see his stocks go up,” which Warren Buffett once said, probably.
Summary: Not all was rosy in the finance world this week, though, as the fallout from the Archegos Capital blow up became ever more visible on the street. For the unfamiliar, Archegos was a family office that heavily levered up and made a handful of risky bets on stocks like Viacom, which started to slide mid-last week. After facing margin calls on their positions, Archegos was unable to provide extra cash, so the banks began selling off stocks on the fund’s behalf. Credit Suisse and Nomura took the biggest hit, with the Swiss bank reporting that it will lose an estimated $4.7 billion from the debacle.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Whether it’s on Robinhood or an institutional fund, investors will literally lever up their portfolio and then get margin-called instead of going to therapy. Try therapy — it’s cheaper.
Summary: In blazin’ news for weed smokers and investors alike, New York officially legalized adult-use cannabis. Although retail sales aren’t expected to begin until 2022, it is now legal for New Yorkers to possess and smoke the sweet leaf, as long as they’re over the age of 21. Analysts estimate that the New York cannabis market could be worth as much as $7 billion once it’s fully established and regulated.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: This is bullish news for weed #stonks, which, like smokers, should start to get higher if the industry takes off. The question arises whether legal weed will produce the same effects as illegal weed. If not… the secret ingredient may well be crime.
Summary: NFTs, or non-fungible tokens, are once again hot in the press — with none other than the OG influencer Paris Hilton appearing on CNBC to talk about her involvement in the space. She also announced that she’s working with a few artists to make her first NFT drop in just a few weeks.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Instead of spending $69 million on a piece of art, you can own exactly the same thing by simply taking a screenshot. NFT artists HATE this one simple trick.
Summary: Just to round the week off, in a break-the-internet moment, Professor Scott Galloway (aka Professor Cold-Takes), decided to post a thirst-trap on Twitter to rival that of Chamath’s. At 56-years-old, he sure as hell doesn’t look bad, with great chest development, rock-hard abs, and python arms.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: After analyzing this for some time,, it is very clear that legs have deliberately been omitted from the picture. This is disappointing. As the great Masquatma Gandhi once said, “I cannot teach you swole-ness, for I myself do not always achieve it. I can only teach you to never skip leg day.”
So there you have it! That was the week in memes. Now here’s what the doctor is prescribing:
- Be patient in the stock market and you will be rewarded
- Therapy is cheaper than a margin call
- Take a screenshot instead of buying an NFT
- Never skip leg day