For this week’s column, we’re jumping the shark and breaking out the blowtorch: It’s Weed Week at Bullish, and Dr. Parik is diagnosing the dankest 420 memes on the web — just don’t ask him to write you a medical marijuana prescription!
Hi, I’m Dr. Parik Patel, BA, CFA, ACCA, Esq. If you don’t know me already, I’m a Chartered FinMeme Analyst (CFA) with a particular expertise in #stonk valuation (pro-tip: just multiply by two). Anyways, I’ve been told that I have a particularly special insight into the world of finance and memes, so the team at Bullish asked me to create a regular round-up to help explain what the hell happened this week… and then offer my “diagnosis” of the virality.
For this week’s column, we’re jumping the shark and breaking out the blowtorch: It’s Weed Week at Bullish in celebration of 4/20. So we’re gonna lean into the dank meme stash for this particular round up.
Personally, Dr. P is not a consumer of frosty nugs, but I know many people who are, and I respect the culture. In fact, I respect anything that makes stocks go up, and more weed smokers makes weed stocks go up. Just don’t ask the doc for a medical marijuana prescription — it ain’t happening!
So, with all that said… what does all this haze MEME? We’re getting heady today, so without further ado, let’s dive into Dr. Parik’s MARIJUANA Meme Diagnosis of the Week…
Summary: So as you already know, this week included the de facto holiday (or holidaze) for cannabis — 4/20. Many people took to the streets to celebrate, with free joints handed out in New York’s Union Square to commemorate the occasion. After all, New York recently legalized, so there was good reason to break out the top-shelf grass.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: As mentioned previously, I am not a smoker of the w**d, but as an independent observer and someone who respects the culture — and not just because legalization makes pot stocks go up — I hope you all had an excellent 4/20.
Summary: Dogecoin, the popular meme cryptocurrency, jumped as much as 20% (up to 42 cents) on Tuesday, as fans declared 4/20 to be the day of the Doge, or #Dogeday. Demand for the coin has been so popular that it briefly took down Robinhood’s cryptocurrency trading systems on Thursday before hitting all time highs of 45 cents on Friday.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Many journalists and commentators have suggested that the surge in dogecoin prices is simply the product of a meme, but I think that it’s much more than that. Efficient market hypothesis would suggest that Doge is fairly valued. If you ask me, I think investors are pricing dogecoin as an alternative to the US dollar.
Summary: The rest of the stock market, however, hasn’t been quite so rosy. According to Bank of America Global Research, US equities had their biggest outflows last week since mid-November (and the fifth-largest since 2008) as investors sold a net $5.2 billion in US equities.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: Why would you invest in tech stocks, or even worse, value stocks when you have the opportunity to invest in the future global reserve currency? Elon Musk will make it happen. Get ready for the Dogecoin standard.
Summary: Whether you agree or disagree with my thesis on Dogecoin, one thing we can all agree on is that LinkedIn is the worst possible form of social media out there. Instead of using it for networking and careers like it was built for, it has become infested with obnoxious humblebrags with people posting that they are #grateful for everything.
Dr. Parik’s Diagnosis: When Satya Nadella sat down and decided to acquire LinkedIn for a cool $26.2 billion, I imagine this was far from what he expected. But, on the bright side, it keeps the humblebrags confined to just the VCs on finance Twitter.
So there you have it! This was the week in (marijuana) memes. Now here’s what the doctor is prescribing:
- Respect the ganja, even if you don’t smoke it
- Dogecoin will replace the US dollar
- Uninstall LinkedIn, or post your #humblebrags elsewhere
- Blaze up!
~ Dr. PP out